I have never felt this bad –
My family must thinks I have gone mad.

I could have never guessed
To feel this depressed

And that my mood would swing
With every changing little thing.

It is hard to see
How my future will be.

People have never seen
Me acting me so mean.

I am more critical than ever before
About what is behind someone’s door.

I apologize all day in my mind
And pray someday again to be kind.

‘Til now I have had no gain,
The medications manipulate my brain.

For my illness, there is no cure.
The medication’s side effects I can not endure.

As a whole,
My body and mind are out of control.

I hope my loved ones will understand,
That existing much longer like this, I can’t.

That is why
I choose to be pain free before I die.